Tears Today...

Why the tears?...

The last couple of days have been a bit strange.  I have this overwhelming desire to be in the Lord's presence and what I want to do most is study the Word.  I then feel guilty for not praying as I used to.   I miss those days when my daughter was a toddler and I would sit and pray and pray.  There are of course seasons in our lives.  I agree with this very much. "To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1  (I do believe there is much more meaning in these passages of Ecclesiastes) It is comforting that the Lord knows there is a time for everything, and it is also extremely comforting to know that He is long-suffering.  Oh thank You Lord for this!  This is definitely one of His character traits I need in great measure.  I must type out this verse as it is so beautiful to hear the description of our Lord. "The Lord does not delay and is not tardy or slow about what He promises, according to some people's conception of slowness, but He is long-suffering (extraordinarily patient) toward you, not desiring that any should perish, but that all should turn to repentance."  2 Peter 3:9 amplified.  

Seasons, well, it seems I go through a season every day.  Some of the time I am energized in faith and then later, my worries and cares come back.  This in itself may be a season.  Perhaps getting back to that time when I will remain fixed and stable, standing on that Rock and not wavering. This is inspiring!  As I mentioned guilt, I have to mention that I know God's love is not based on works.  In fact it's in knowing how much He has done for me, us, I should not be having these moments, but I do, and I am.

It has been a strange transition these past couple of months.  Mainly, my concern is relating to finances for the future.  Oh how I should not be bothered by this! The countless times the Lord has taken care of things for us, are truly countless.  Why should I be bothered?  I need not be.  I have enjoyed every moment of being home with my husband and daughter these past couple of months and not having to work. Thank You, Lord.  I will be returning for a temporary time and as I stated in my last entry, after this, it is truly a plan I know not.  Perhaps this is best.  Truly putting my faith to the test, and again, the testing of our faith produces so many gems!! This makes me smile.  Do not the words, "thou has done well my good and faithful servant" sound so wonderful? My emotions have been high and in prayer, I have cried tears.  Oh Lord, make Your thoughts my thoughts.  "For the rest brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things (fix your mind on them".  Phil. 4:8 amplified

So, why the tears?  Some are just of sheer joy that the Lord is good, some are of heart ache for the journey I have traveled.  However, I actually wanted to say, the journey that ONE has traveled.  For I know many are on very hard journeys now.   At those moments and now I pray for all of those traveling on that weary path.  I love that Jesus leads us through it! Spoken by the Master, "Peace I leave with you; My own peace as I now give and bequeath to you.  Not as the world gives do I give to you.  Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid."  John 14:17 amplified 

This has been a daily fight.  As I read through these writings, it sounds two sided.  Perhaps it is.  In actuality we are mind, soul and spirit.  There are battles going on and my spirit does not desire to give in to these worries/fears.  For now, the battle of faith and trust in the Lord, now and in the future, is fighting against my fears for tomorrow.  The battle of looking up and focusing on the Lord and not on the cares of this world.  The battle of peace and joy reigning in my heart against sadness.  Truly deep in my heart, there is that strength of faith that will rise up! It is there.  The place where Jesus resides. "...greater is He who lives in you is greater (mightier) than he who is in the world." 1 John 4:4  In that place, He will lead the way out and to that place of victory!! Lead the way Oh Lord!

May you have that victory in all your battles.  May God watch over you and keep you.  In Jesus.